All I Ask
by TransfiguredToad
Summary: Emma visits Killian the night before Pan's curse takes over. Based on the Adele song of the same name. Captain Swan. Canon Divergence
1. Chapter 1

**All I Ask**

 _I will leave my heart at the door_

 _I won't say a word_

 _They've all been said before, you know_

 _So why don't we just play pretend_

 _Like we're not scared of what is coming next_

 _Or scared of having nothing left_

 _Look, don't get me wrong_

 _I know there is no tomorrow_

 _All I ask is_

She stared up at the ship in front of her, wondering how she had even gotten here. It was subconscious, of that she was sure. She was scared and she was petrified to admit that. Tomorrow, when the curse finally reached them, she would never see her family, her parents, again. She'd never see Hook again. And, as much as she tried to convince herself otherwise, that hurt. So, here she was, staring up at his ship.

She had that feeling in her heart like you do when you're about to do something huge, something huge and life changing and terrifying and then her feet began to move. They took her to the ramp where she could come aboard. She tried to be silent, not because she wanted to scare him or sneak up on him, but because she wanted the option to turn around, but her shoes seemed louder than ever in the night. When she reached the deck, she saw him staring at her.

Her eyes met his, blue and slightly wider than usual. It was clear he wasn't expecting to see her. She wasn't expecting to be there. Emma swallowed harshly, wishing that she wasn't about to cry. She'd not cried properly in years, but, right then, she felt more vulnerable than ever. "Emma," he rasped out and Emma bit her lip, before beginning to sob into her hands.

She wasn't sure who moved but, within seconds, she was in his arms and she drank in the smell of him, the feel of him. Tomorrow, she'd remember none of this. She pulled away from him after what could have been hours, but could have been minutes or seconds. "Killian," she whispered. Was it the first time she'd said his real name? It felt like it. She opened her mouth and then closed it, shaking her head. She couldn't speak. There was nothing she could say. "Can we just pretend?" she murmured. "Just for tonight, that tomorrow isn't happening. Just for tonight," she said, her throat catching. "I know that tomorrow I won't remember this," Emma continued. "I know that you will and that maybe this is just cruelty on my part but can we just pretend?"

 _If this is my last night with you_

 _Hold me like I'm more than just a friend_

 _Give me a memory I can use_

 _Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do_

 _It matters how this ends_

 _Cause what if I never love again?_

"This is my last night," Emma murmured, scared that he wasn't saying anything, "and I want to pretend that I'm more than just a _friend_. Please, Killian, I don't know what I want but I want this and," Emma sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her throat was making horrible noises and Emma hated herself for being so weak and not making sense and not being someone else. Why was she like this?

Killian looked down at her and Emma knew that he understood. It mattered how this ended. She needed to give him a memory, she knew that, but, more than that, she needed something to cling to. Maybe it would make her remember. Or maybe it wouldn't. She just wanted him, needed him to make her feel as though everything was alright, just for a few hours.

He brushed the tears away from her face and Emma knew that she must look awful with red blotchy cheeks and red watering eyes. He took both of her hands and brought them to his lips. Emma almost let out a sob.

 _I don't need your honesty_

 _It's already in your eyes_

 _And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me_

 _No one knows me like you do_

 _And since you're the only one that matters_

 _Tell me who do I run to?_

She didn't need to know that he was in love with her. She could see it shining through his eyes. She knew that, right then, she was the only thing in the world. And right then? He was the only thing in hers. She hoped that her eyes spoke the things that she didn't know, couldn't accept without time that she didn't have.

He leaned in and kissed her chastely, so different to their first kiss. He pulled back and cupped her cheeks, leaning in again and kissing her slowly, passionately. And Emma could feel his love for her. Tears slipped down her cheeks. This was exactly what she needed, what she wanted. He knew her better than she knew herself. They were so similar. Maybe with time, they could have been, but the time that she longed for wasn't to be.

He pulled back again and she saw insecurity in his eyes. She knew why. Neal. "You're the only one that matters," she whispered. "I ran to you, Killian," she assured him, cupping his face in her hands. He leaned his cheeks slightly against hers and kissed her palm. Emma pulled him close and initiated a kiss, slow, loving, perfect.

 _Look, don't get me wrong_

 _I know there is no tomorrow_

 _All I ask is_

 _If this is my last night with you_

 _Hold me like I'm more than just a friend_

 _Give me a memory I can use_

 _Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do_

 _It matters how this ends_

 _Cause what if I never love again?_

Emma let herself be carried down to Killian's cabin and she let him love her. He made her feel like she was worthy of love, despite everything that had happened to her in the twenty-nine years she had lived. She hoped beyond hope that she made him feel the same.

They lay curled up together afterwards, sweating and panting, feeling sated and complete. Emma knew that it wouldn't make tomorrow easier. She knew that, now, she wanted to stay, to do this again, to know if there could be a them, but she also knew that it was the perfect way to end things. She knew she'd never feel this way again, because she might forget Killian, but she knew she'd never forget this feeling inside of her, no matter where she was.

 _Let this be our lesson in love_

 _Let this be the way we remember us_

 _I don't wanna be cruel or vicious_

 _And I ain't asking for forgiveness_

 _All I ask is_

Emma wanted this to be what Killian remembered when she left, not the person she'd been to him in Neverland, not the cruel things she'd said or the way that she had perhaps leant more towards Neal than to him. She wanted him to remember the love in her eyes, if not in her words. She needed him to remember them because she wouldn't. She knew they would live on in Killian forever.

They talked then, about their fears and their wishes and regrets. Love was never mentioned, of course, but Emma felt it between them. She knew she did. And she also knew this was her fault. If she was only able to realise that she loved before she lost someone, then maybe they could've been together. Emma told him about what Neal did to her and Killian told her about what he did to Neal and Emma forgave him and maybe Killian forgave her for not realising until now, until the last moment.

But Emma was so glad that she did, because what if she never loved again?

 _If this is my last night with you_

 _Hold me like I'm more than just a friend_

 _Give me a memory I can use_

 _Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do_

 _It matters how this ends_

 _Cause what if I never love again?_


	2. Chapter 2

He was trying to be a good guy. It was difficult. He was a pirate, dammit. But he was trying. So, why in the name of all that is good in the world was he being punished?

And by Milah's son. It was as if the world didn't want him to be good to the lad- man. The world made it so damn difficult. He'd sworn to look after him – and then he'd screwed it up in Neverland with the whole lost boys thing.

And then he'd fallen in love with the mother of Bae's child, who Bae also loved. He'd tried to step back. He really had. He'd tried to spend less time with her, but she was enchanting and funny and beautiful. And he loved her. Bae had had his chance and he'd fucked up. Surely that meant it was Killian's turn? But, no, he'd stepped back to allow Emma and Bae a second chance.

But Emma had come to him. She'd made her own choice and spent her last night in Storybrooke in his bed. She'd said she didn't trust Neal. And he'd tried to fight the urges inside him, but it was never going to work. So he'd kissed her and spent the night with her, making her feel truly loved.

The next morning, when he watched her go, all he wanted to do was follow her. He must have looked truly heartbroken because Emma's mother had approached him and squeezed his hand, looking into his eyes before letting go.

Seconds later, they appeared in the Enchanted Forest. And, two weeks later, Killian was living in a palace with the love of his life's parents. He'd tried to leave, he really had. He knew it was going to be difficult to be without Emma and he wanted to bury himself in piracy and rum, but Swan's parents had told him to come with them, to be a part of something, to help them rebuild the kingdom. And he'd said yes. He could look after Emma's family and help them and, surely, that would be what Emma would have wanted.

For the first few weeks, he had lived there in peace, helping the monarchs rebuild the kingdom. He worked with Charming to build houses for the people and they rebuilt the navy together. Throwing himself into the work meant that he could clear his head. All he could think of was Emma, all of the time, and he knew that Snow and Charming knew it.

In the third week at the palace, Baelfire arrived with Belle and a comatose Rumpelstiltskin. And Killian had been glad to see Baelfire, glad that he was alright. But, quickly, Killian began to get annoyed. All Baelfire – Neal – ever talked about was how much he loved Emma and – and this galled Killian – how much she loved him. It took a lot not to tell Neal that Emma had spent her last night in _his_ bed, crying out _his_ name.

But, still, Killian had stayed. He liked it at the palace. He got on well with Charming and Snow and Robin Hood, who had moved into the palace also. Killian had a feeling that Robin stayed to be near Regina. Well, he had more than a feeling. Smitten was the word to describe them.

And, now in his thirteenth week at the palace, Killian was still there, sitting in the dining hall with the people that he had come to think of as friends. Neal was telling a story about Emma and everyone was cooing, as if Neal deserved to love Emma. Eventually, it got to Killian and he burst.

"She didn't love you!" he shouted and then swore under his breath. How much had he had to drink?

The room went silent and Neal stared at Killian. "You left her in jail!" Killian continued, figuring everyone should know. "You _abandoned_ her in jail!"

"I- what?" Neal said, feeling every eye in the room on him.

"She told me," Killian said coldly. "She told me she was seventeen and you let her take the fall for _your_ crime. And you blamed it on August or Pinocchio or whatever, but that's just an _excuse_ for your cowardice. You were too scared of your father to protect the woman you supposedly love. I know that I would never have let her go, not for anything," he spat, storming out of the room and to his chambers.

"Fuck," he muttered, beginning to pack.

 **XXX**

 _Dear Hook,_

 _I am sorry that you felt that you had to leave, but I do understand and I want you to know that you are welcome in our castle and in our kingdom whenever you should want and for however long you should want._

 _I would also like to say that both David and I are immensely grateful for the help you have given us with our kingdom over the past three months. We would not be where we are today without you. I know that Emma would be incredibly proud of the man you have become._

 _David and I spoke to Neal about what you said and he admitted that it was the truth. He explained what August told him and, although I do agree that it was cowardly, I also understand his actions. As I'm sure we both know, fear is a difficult thing to overcome. David, however, completely agrees with you. You two are more similar than you know._

 _I am so glad that we got to know you properly over these past months and I want you to know that David and I both truly treasure your friendship. Please do not hesitate to ask for our help with anything you need. Remember that you are always welcome in our home. I hope that you find what you are looking for._

 _Yours,_

 _Queen Snow of Misthaven_

 **XXX**

 _Dear Hook,_

 _I hope that this letter finds you in the middle of the ocean on the deck of the Jolly Roger because I know that that is the only thing capable of truly making you happy now._

 _Things remain well within our kingdom and our family. Robin and Regina continue to grow closer. I cannot describe how strange it is to see Regina, who is such a powerful and headstrong woman, become completely smitten with a man._

 _Neal has not stopped looking for a way back to Henry and Emma, despite the futility of his attempts. He travels far from our kingdom in search for magical beans, although we have told him repeatedly that they won't work._

 _Belle has travelled to her own kingdom to help her father run the kingdom. Their kingdom has not recovered as readily as ours. It should not have been affected by the curse, but Belle's father happened to be in Misthaven when the curse took, so Belle's kingdom has been without a real monarch for twenty-eight years. She is next in line to rule the kingdom, although it is clear to us all that the thought of being queen terrifies her. She is set to return here in a few weeks, when she hopes her father will have recovered from his illness._

 _As for David and I, well, our news is perhaps the most exciting: we are expecting a child. We miss Emma every day and a new baby will in no way replace her in our hearts, as I am sure no one could ever replace her in yours. I can only hope that she would be happy that she is to have a sibling._

 _I send this in the hopes that you are well and happy. Remember that, should you ever need our help, all you need do is ask. You are always welcome here._

 _Best wishes,_

 _Snow_

 **XXX**

The Jolly hadn't been easy to find, but he'd done it. Maybe he'd manipulated Ariel a bit and let her down and he knew that Emma wouldn't be proud of him, but he also knew she'd understand – she _would_ understand.

He robbed and stole and pilfered, his crew at his side, and it was the same. He drank rum and gambled and it was the same. Until a woman would sit on his lap. And then it wasn't the same because it wasn't Emma and he wanted Emma. So he'd take her out of the tavern and pay her off and go back to the ship alone because Emma Emma Emma.

He knew his crew had noticed that he was different and the more obtuse members of his crew had brought her name up with him. He'd found new crew, from places other than Misthaven, places that hadn't ever known the name Emma Swan. Smee stayed with him, of course, but the others were replaceable and replaced.

Killian was always on the lookout for news of Emma's family, just in case. It was not until his fifth month in the Enchanted Forest that he met one of them again.

It had been a stormy night and the Jolly had sustained damage, so Killian and his crew had begun to make for the nearest port, post haste. Thankfully, the main sail hadn't taken much damage so they were able to move along fairly swiftly. They were a few miles out from port when Killian saw her.

Belle sat in a small rowing boat, no oars with her. She was curled up slightly and she appeared to have given up. "Belle!" he shouted and she didn't answer. Killian swore violently. "Belle!" he shouted again and she looked up.

Killian pulled Belle up onto the ship and she fell into his arms, sobbing. "It's alright," he soothed. "Come on, Belle, it's alright," he repeated.

Belle came to port with him and he got her some new clothes and she stayed in his quarters while he slept in with the crew. He promised to take her back to the Enchanted Forest after she told him that her ship had been shipwrecked and everybody on it except her had died. He wondered if he would do the same for any woman. He wondered if he would have done the same before he'd met and fallen in love with Emma Swan.

The trip back to the Enchanted Forest and Misthaven was short and Killian could practically feel his crew's dissatisfaction with his choice to take Belle back to Misthaven. When he arrived in Emma's parents' kingdom, he was fully aware that most of his crew were abandoning ship.

Killian paid for a carriage to the palace, leaving Smee and a few other loyal members of his crew on his ship, informing them that he would most likely stay the night but would return in the morning. Killian steeled himself ready.

 **XXX**

Snow caressed her stomach softly as she watched her husband talk with their closest advisors over the latest attack from Zelena. A whole village had been turned into her monkey warriors and even Regina didn't know how to stop her.

A knock on the door broke Snow from her reverie and she turned to David, standing up. He moved slightly in front of her and drew his sword. The guards at the door knew not to let anybody interrupt their council meetings. Snow wrapped an arm tighter around her stomach. The doors opened and Snow gasped loudly.

"Killian!" Snow shouted. Killian didn't register the sound of her greeting Belle too, because he was too thrown off by her use of his real name, almost as though he registered as a real human being with her. The last person to call him Killian was Emma, all those months ago. His heart ached.

He was distracted by Snow wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He could feel that she was with child now. She was that bit bigger. Killian was surprised. He hesitated before returning her hug. "What happened?" she asked, pulling back.

"Killian saved me," Belle replied for him, perhaps knowing that that wasn't how Killian would have put it. "I was going to die if he hadn't found me," she continued and Killian wanted to protest that somebody would have found her eventually, but he knew that, even if somebody else had found her, she may have lost all of her honour and she never would have made it back to Snow and David.

The whole room looked at Killian with undisguised respect and Killian found that he liked it. He was subject to more hugs and thanks and even Baelfire gave him a terse thank you. Killian had really fucked things up there.

"Sit down, both of you," Snow ushered. "We're discussing the latest attacks by Zelena."

Killian watched and participated in the meeting. He liked this, this feeling a part of something and he'd missed it.

After the council meeting, Killian ate dinner with Snow and David and gave them a loose version of what had happened over the past few months. The food was the best he'd had since he'd left, of course. The palace could always be counted on to deliver a feast. He enjoyed the atmosphere around him and he soaked as much of it up as he could before he left.

After dinner, Killian sat with a flagon of ale and looked out from the balcony near the dining table. It was a beautiful view. "So, how've you really been?" Snow asked him from behind. Killian hung his head slightly.

"How can she affect me this much?" he asked quietly. "I didn't exactly know her for long, did I? And, of that time, we only got on for, what, a week? Two?"

Snow smiled sadly. "You fell in love with her. It doesn't matter how long you knew her for, or how well you knew her. It was always going to affect you," she said.

"Before we left, I told her that not a day would go by that I wouldn't think of her, but it's more like every minute, every second! Every time something happens, every time I do something, I think of how Emma would react. I'll see things that I know she'd find funny and wish that I could tell her," he continued and, then looked down at his beer. Was it the drink that was making him so talkative? Or was it that he knew Snow understood?

"I know," Snow sighed. "I- oh my word, the other day, one of the servants in the kitchen had made themselves a grilled cheese, because they must have liked it in Storybrooke, and I saw it and I just sobbed. I stood in the kitchen and cried because it hurts so much to not have her here."

"There's this famous pirate ship that has a crew full of women and, last week, we were docked in the same bay as them and one of the pirates had this red leather vest on and blonde hair and I only saw a glimpse and I chased her through the town," Killian said, laughing at himself.

"My life is completely different. I thought when I got back on my ship and back to piracy and my crew that I'd be able to go back, but I can't. Every time I do something that I know Emma would disapprove of, I feel it in my stomach. The crew have noticed that I'm different and loads of them abandoned me, jumped ship in the most literal sense," Killian mocked.

"Isn't it crazy that we miss her so much and yet she doesn't know we exist?" Snow said heartbrokenly. "She must still think she's an orphan, that we abandoned her on the side of the road."

"At least she has her lad," Killian pointed out. "She's not alone, at least."

Snow nodded. "Henry," she sighed. "I hate that I can't see him grow up. The other day, I found Charming in our room in tears because he'd seen some kids playing with swords and he missed doing that with his grandson. I bet he's getting so tall," she said wistfully.

Killian had no idea what to say. He took her hand in his and squeezed it. "I guess we'll get used to it eventually," he lied. He knew he would never grow accustomed to this ache in his heart and she didn't say anything, but he knew she wouldn't either.

 **XXX**

 _Killian,_

 _It was so wonderful to see you, even if only for a day. Please feel free to come back whenever you need, for just a night or for more. I hope you are happy to be back with your ship and on the seas again._

 _Belle is so grateful to you for helping her. I can't imagine Rumpelstiltskin's face when he finds out that you of all people saved his Belle's life. I don't think she enjoyed her time away from us. Her father is well again, and he suggested that she stay. He is an odd man. I have no doubts that he loves her, but he was talking about an arranged marriage and her staying in the castle all the time. He must have missed her._

 _Our baby continues to grow. Sometimes, I swear I can feel him kick but I know that it is too early. When I was pregnant with Emma, I remember her kicking all the time. Hopefully, this baby is tamer and will allow me to sleep unlike his big sister._

 _I think about her all of the time. I hope that she and Henry are happy in New York, but, more than anything, I wish she were here with us. Henry would love to be a prince, although perhaps Emma would make a better pirate than a princess. I can't imagine that she would enjoy having so many rules to follow._

 _I am glad that she is far from Zelena, who continues to plague us with threats. Regina's magic keeps her out of the castle, but we don't have enough to protect our people and more and more disappearances are coming to light. It is a scary place to be right now and I don't know what Zelena will do next. I know that it is our fear that Zelena enjoys. Perhaps we will find a permanent solution to her soon._

 _I hope that this letter finds you well and that you are taking care of yourself. Remember that there is always a place for you in our council and in our castle. Be safe._

 _Yours truly,_

 _Snow_

 **XXX**

 _Dear Killian,_

 _I feel as though I am always thanking you! Red says that you helped her out in a tavern a few days ago. I am eternally grateful for you. You seem to be always coming to our rescue._

 _Again, things are well here. Neal has finally given up on finding a portal to take him to Emma after Regina finally explained the rules of Pan's curse to him, none-too-kindly. It seems to have sunk in now._

 _David is anxious about Zelena. She knows that I am pregnant and she has threatened our baby. I pray that Regina and Belle find a solution soon. Belle has been fierce in her research since Zelena took Rumplestilkstin from her a few days ago. It is this protective quality that she has that makes me sure that she will be a wonderful queen when the time comes._

 _You will perhaps be pleased to know that David apprehended Blackbeard yesterday and he is to be trialled tomorrow. It is best that you stay away from the trial and from Misthaven for a few weeks. We don't want to appear to be hypocrites, although I suppose that we are. Do remember, though, that we are only too happy to help you with anything you need._

 _Yours,_

 _Snow_

 **XXX**

 _Killian,_

 _A curse is coming from Zelena that will rip us back to Storybrooke. We don't know what will happen there. If you wish to remain in this land, you must leave Misthaven immediately and travel to another kingdom. Be safe._

 _Your friends always,_

 _Snow and David_

"Shite," Killian declared. He was alone on his ship. He looked to the horizon and saw an ominous green cloud there. "Shit, fuck," he continued. He'd been too busy thinking about Emma to be looking into the sky. He had to go. He had to go and get Emma. Her family was in danger.

He pulled up the anchor. He had no time or wish to get his crew. They'd get to Storybrooke and he'd see them there, but, first, he had to get out of Misthaven to escape the curse and it was looming. He had the fastest ship in the kingdom, in the realm, but it wasn't moving quick enough.

"Come on, girl," he muttered, adjusting the sails. A sudden gust of wind had them moving quickly and Killian watched the cloud grow closer. It wasn't enough. "Bollocks," he muttered. It was so close now. Snow and David must be gone already, Killian realised. All of them, ripped back to Storybrooke. Would they have memories? The last curse had taken their memories. Would he lose the friendship he had made with them all? Would they think he was just a pirate again?

It was all this pondering that distracted Killian from noticing as they crossed kingdoms. He only noticed, in fact, when the green cloud hit a barrier, like glass, and stopped. Killian collapsed in relief. He just had to get to Emma now.

 **XXX**

Killian arrived in New York City, without a ship, but with a mission. He looked around, hoping it was indeed New York. Surely it couldn't be that hard to find Emma. He was stood in an alleyway between too buildings and stepped out. Sunlight hit him. And then a man on the phone hit him.

"Get out of the fucking way!" the man shouted at him and Killian stared at him in shock. There must have been thousands of people all around him. He saw flashes of blonde everywhere, but none of them Emma. How the hell was he going to do this? Killian followed a flow of people. He just needed to get away from this crowd and figure it out.

Killian wandered the street for hours. He had no idea what to do. He had no idea properly where he was. He stepped inside a building labelled as a library and approached a woman sat at the desk, dressed in an odd fashion with spectacles on. "Hello," he said with a charming smile. She was young, the woman, and she smiled back. _Excellent_ , Killian thought.

"I was wondering if you would be able to help me find somebody," he said.

She looked a bit uneasy, so Killian explained, "I was in love with her. At school. And I wanted to find her and tell her, because she's been on my mind constantly recently." He gave her a sad smile and the woman nodded.

"Okay," she said. "What's her name?"

Killian watched as the woman typed Emma Swan into the – magic box. "Emma Swan," the woman muttered. "It says here she is a bailbondsperson, with her own business. Swan & Co," she explained. Killian severely doubted there was a 'co'. His Swan was a bit of a loner.

"Great. Is there an address?" Killian asked eagerly.

"Yeah. She rents an office in this building," she told him, reeling off the building number. Killian asked if she could give him directions and she did and then he was off, thanking the woman profusely on the way out. How successful he was.

 **XXX**

Killian found the office. It was dark, but he ascended the staircases to the office labelled as 'Swan & Co'. He knocked on the door and somebody answered. It wasn't Swan.

"For fucks sake," Killian muttered.

"Are you looking for Ms Swan?" the woman asked, holding some sort of bottle with an odd lid and a cloth. She was wearing a blue pinafore and Killian wondered if that was some sort of strange fashion.

"Yes. Emma Swan," he said.

"She's gone home. I'm the cleaner for the building. You want her address?" the cleaner asked. She was chewing something and Killian scrumpled his nose.

"Yes please," Killian replied never-the-less. He did find it a bit dodgy that she was willing to give out her address so easily. She didn't know that he had good intentions for Emma. Who knows what crazy people she'd given Emma's address out to?

"Okay, she lives at…"

 **XXX**

Killian waited until the morning. The cleaner had suggested that it was far too late then and Killian agreed. He walked up the staircases to Emma's apartment. If he got to this apartment and it wasn't here, he would be devastated, but he had a good feeling.

He took a deep breath and knocked.

 **XXX**

 **Hey, so I know you probably all thought it was a one shot, but I guess it's not. I just wanted to get this up before A Level results day tomorrow so that maybe you could all tell me something positive to get me over how bad my results are gonna be? I dunno. Thanks for reading. Always surprises me that people are actually reading the stuff that I write. Like, don't you have better things to be doing? I dunno, maybe that's just me. It's just that I'll read masterpieces like Beyond the Horizon and wonder why the heck people are bothering with me when they could be reading that again? Ahah, just a bit of self-pity here from me, ahead of ultimate self-pity day tomorrow. Arghhhhh**


	3. Chapter 3

Emma Swan was happy. The new start in New York, away from Boston, had been what she and Henry needed. Henry was happy at his school. He was getting good grades and had made lots of friends. She had started a bails bond person business and the money was coming in. Their apartment was beautiful, with views of Central Park.

Emma spent most nights with Henry, playing on his xbox or watching films. She declined any invitations for dates. She didn't date. She couldn't remember having been on a date since Henry was born.

After Henry had been born, Emma had realised that she really didn't need anybody else. She'd never been good at the friend thing, anyway, and, after Neal had screwed her over, she hadn't even wanted to look at another man, so she guessed she hadn't. Sometimes she felt lonely, like she needed a partner, an adult partner, but then she remembered that she didn't want to fuck Henry over with her bad decisions.

Emma rolled over. What did she want for breakfast? They'd had pancakes yesterday and she wasn't really feeling them today. Maybe bacon, sausages-

Emma hurled. She jumped up out of bed and ran to the bathroom, emptying her stomach of everything she had eaten over the past day. She then leant against the toilet, disgusted by the bits of sick in her hair. Henry rushed in. "Mom, mom, are you okay?" he asked her worriedly.

Emma smiled, wiping her mouth. "Sorry, Henry. I think I must have come down with a bug or something. Don't worry about me. I'm just going to grab a shower real quick. I'll be out in five minutes, I promise," Emma said, squeezing his hand. Henry nodded and backed out of the room.

Emma shook her head, wondering what on earth she had eaten to make her throw up so violently.

 **XXX**

It had taken two weeks for Henry to convince Emma to see a doctor, but, after two weeks during which she'd thrown up on ten of the days, Emma had finally agreed. Emma laid out her symptoms: she'd been sick and she felt tired.

The doctor looked at her, narrowing her eyes slightly. "And when was your last period?" she asked.

Emma scoffed. "I'm not pregnant," she told her.

"Tender breasts?" she asked.

"It's impossible. I can't be pregnant," Emma stated firmly. But when was her last period? And her breasts were more tender. But that was because she was coming onto her period. She was just late.

"I-"

"Backache?" the doctor checked and Emma shook her head. "Can I just do a check, Emma?" she asked and Emma nodded. This would prove the doctor wrong.

Emma lay down on the bed and lifted her t-shirt. The doctor got her stethoscope.

 **XXX**

A roofie. Somebody must have slipped her a roofie and raped her. The thought made Emma sick. She sat on her bed with the scan picture. The doctor had had to point out the baby to Emma. It was tiny. And had half the DNA of a rapist. Emma was petrified. How had this happened? She was never going out on her own again.

Pregnant. Eight weeks pregnant. It must have happened in Boston, just before they left. Or in their first few days in New York. Either way, she was sick with disgust. Somebody had raped her. Had used her. When had it happened though? Emma had no idea and she got a headache whenever she tried to think of her time in Boston.

Emma sighed when she heard Henry walk into the apartment. He walked into her room.

"So? What is it?" he asked eagerly.

Emma looked at the picture in her hand. "It looks like I'm pregnant," she whispered and she couldn't look at Henry's face. Things had been really good just the two of them. How would he feel about a third person coming to join them?

"Wicked!" he declared. Emma looked up and furrowed her brow. "A baby. Mom, this is so cool! Is it a boy or a girl? I guess you don't know yet. We should go shopping! Where will he/she sleep? In here? Or they could have my room or-"

Henry stopped talking when Emma embraced him. She kissed the side of his head and whispered, "Thank you."

 **XXX**

It was when Henry dragged her into a baby shop that Emma realised. She was excited about having this baby. She'd been so young when she'd had Henry and she didn't really remember most of it. To do it again, yeah, it petrified her, but it was a challenge that she was excited by. And she was a good mom. She knew that and she liked being a mom, more than she liked being a bailsbondperson. She could do this. She had the money.

She and Henry went crazy in that shop. Bailsbondpersonage had good pay and Emma had a lot of money from Boston that she must have got for their old house, so Emma and Henry bought lots of things for the baby. They bought it all in brown and white and, when they got home, converted a corner in Emma's room to a nursery for the baby.

"I think you should call the baby, if it's a girl, Enya," Henry announced and Emma smiled. That was a sweet name.

"We'll put it on a list," she said.

 **XXX**

And, after that, they begin to compile a list. Every morning, they had come up with a name and put it on. Emma really liked Enya, more and more as each day went by, but she hadn't found the perfect name for a boy yet.

Emma returned home to the apartment that afternoon, after her doctor's appointment. She found Henry playing his Warcraft game and sat next to him, picking up her controller. "How do you feel about having a brother?" she asked him.

Henry gasped and cheered. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes," he continued, taking the baby photo off his mom. "This is so cool, Mom. I am so glad you're having a baby," he told her and Emma smiled.

"Me too."

 **XXX**

Emma looked at her baby. He was the sweetest thing she had ever seen. He had beautiful blue eyes and Emma didn't want to consider that they belonged to the rapist father. Maybe her mom or dad had had blue eyes. His hair was dark and he had Emma's nose and chin, like Henry. "Oh, Liam," she sighed. "Liam." She and Henry had a list that would run up and down the Champs Elysees twice, but Liam had never been mentioned and, now that she had said it, it was perfect.

"Liam Henry Swan," she said, kissing his nose and brushing her fingers against his nose. "I love you, Liam," she said softly.

 **XXX**

One and a half months later, Emma sat across the table from Henry at breakfast. Their pancakes were ready and on their plates and they each had a hot mug of cocoa. Emma tucked in eagerly. Technically, she told herself, she was still eating for two, as she was breastfeeding Liam.

"Liam still asleep?" Henry asked her, as he drank some of his orange juice. Emma nodded.

"Little scoundrel, keeping me up half the night," she said fondly. "I think I'll sleep all day while you're at school," Emma laughed.

"Nah, Liam will just keep you up," Henry joked and Emma laughed, agreeing. There was a knock on the door. Emma looked at her son and he shrugged. The knock came again. Emma treaded to the door, well aware that she was wearing pyjamas, and opened it. There stood a man fully in black. He had dark hair and scruff and he was covered in leather.

"Swan," the man sighed and Emma looked at his warily. He took a step forward, "at last!"

"Woah, do I know you?" she asked, putting a hand out in front of her.

"Look, I need your help. Something's happened, something terrible. Your family is in trouble," he told her.

"My family's right here," she said firmly. "Who are you?"

"An old friend," he said. "Look, I know you can't remember me but I can make you."

And he leaned in for a kiss. Her eyes widened and she kneed him in the bollocks.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked him desperately.

"A long shot. I was hoping you felt as I did," he said, clutching his crotch. "Look, I know this seems crazy but you have to listen to me. You have to remem-"

Emma shut the door in his face. Crazy person.

"Who was that?" Henry asked.

"No idea. Someone must have left the door open downstairs," she said, sitting back down to breakfast with her son.

 **XXX**

The man at the door plagued Emma's thoughts all day. She tried to nap whenever Liam did, but she found his face coming to her mind. She felt like she knew him and she hated that the only thing coming to mind was that he must have been the one to drug and rape her, because who else would she have forgotten?

She shook her head. She had wanted a hot cocoa and had suggested it to Henry, before realising they had no milk. "Ah, Mom, you've got my hopes up now," Henry said disappointedly. Emma grinned.

"I'll be two minutes. Keep an eye on Liam," she warned, pointing a finger at him.

"Of course," he said, affronted. Emma ruffled his hair and grabbed her keys. She took the stairs two at a time. The shop was opposite their apartment block.

She quickly grabbed the milk and got in the queue. As she did, however, she felt someone sidle in next to her. "You!" she shouted, recognising the man. She took a step back. What if he was the man that had raped her? What if he knew about Liam?

"Hey, hey, calm down," he said. "I'm just here to give you something." Emma glared fiercely at him. He passed her a piece of paper. "I know you don't believe me, but this isn't you. This life isn't yours. Go to that address. I promise you you'll get your answers," he swore, before striding out.

Emma rolled her eyes, but she put the piece of paper in her pocket and went to buy her milk.

 **XXX**

Emma strode angrily over to the man who had plagued the last few days of her life. She'd gone to the address, of course she had. She was curious. She had put Liam in his pram and gone on the subway at a relatively quiet hour. It was an apartment and she quickly figured out whose it had been. Neal. More than that, though, she had found a camera with a strap on that said 'Henry'.

Who the hell was this guy?

"Who the hell are you?" she asked angrily, shoving him with her hand.

"Woah, woah, Swan."

"Are you in it with him, huh? Does he want me back after twelve years of nothing? After what he did to me? To me and my son? You can tell him to go and fuck himself!" Emma screamed.

"No," the man said, shaking his head. "You visited that apartment last year with Henry. You've just forgotten. You had your memory taken. Emma," he implored. He produced a vial of blue liquid and Emma stepped forward, shaking her head. She took handcuffs out of her pocket and, before he could react, she'd handcuffed him to a bike rack. "Again?" he commented.

"What?" she said with a roll of her eyes. "You're a crazy person," she informed him.

"I prefer dashing rapscallion," he corrected and, at her derisive look, he said, "scoundrel?"

Emma's face hardened. Had he been watching her? That was what she called her son. She pulled over two passing NYPD officers. "This man assaulted me," she told them.

"It was a kiss!" the crazy man shouted back at her.

"There you are – a confession," she said, leaving and going home to where her baby was with her neighbour.

 **XXX**

Emma dropped the charges. She developed the photos from Henry's camera and saw photos of a town called Storybrooke and of people Emma had never seen before. Emma pushed Liam's pram along the sidewalk to where the man was being kept. She was stood there for a few minutes, worrying, before he came out.

"Hey, we need to talk," she said, standing next to the pram by the steps.

"Swan," he said. "I knew you wouldn't let me rot in that cage. I've been in my fair share of brigs, but none as barbaric as that one. They force fed me something called bologna," he said disgustedly and Emma ignored him, choosing to show him the pictures.

"What the hell are these?" she asked, spreading them apart. "We never lived in a town called Storybrooke. We never took a flight from Boston to New York – we drove. We never did any of this," she declared.

"So, you believe me then?" he asked her.

"I don't know. You could have photoshopped these pictures," she speculated wildly. He crumpled his brow.

"Photoshopped?" he asked. What planet was this guy from?

"Faked," she corrected.

"If you think these are forgeries, then why did you spring me from the brig?"

Who even talked like that nowadays?

"Because as much as you deny it, deep down, you know something's wrong," he continued and Emma looked at her shoes. She did. Maybe she'd known it since she'd found out she was pregnant. "Deep down, you know I'm right."

Emma shook her head.

"It's not possible. How could I forget all of this?"

"I promise you there's an explanation," he said, but she wasn't quite ready to relinquish her sanity.

"Not one that makes sense," she shot back. He offered her the blue liquid again. Was this how it had happened, she wondered? Had he convinced her to drink it? And then raped her?

But none of this made sense. She would remember him from before he'd roofied her, if that was how it happened. Sometimes you just had to take a risk.

"If you drink this, it will," he promised and she looked at Liam.

" _If_ ," she said, running things over in her head. " _If_ what you're saying is true, I'd have to give up my life here," she realised.

"It's all based on lies," he said simply but passionately.

"It's real and it's pretty good," she said with a small smile. "I have my sons and a good job," she said and he shook his head at her.

"Perhaps you had all of that in this life too. Henry was always your son, Swan," he told her and Emma nodded distractedly. What should she do? "Regardless, if you wanna find the truth, drink up. Do you really want to live a life of lies?" he asked her and of course Emma didn't. "You know this isn't right. Trust your gut, Swan. It will tell you what to do."

"Henry always says that."

"Well, then, if you won't listen to me, then listen to your boy," Killian told her emphatically. She stared into his eyes. They were bluer than blue. She reached out and took the potion, uncapping it and downing it.

 **Hellooo sorry it's been so long. Literally the last time I posted was results day. It's now March. It's basically exam time again. I'd say I've been busy and I guess I have. I'm trying to figure out who I am, I guess. Wow, deep. Wow, unnecessary. Sorry. To be honest, I've had this chapter and the next written for ages. I just don't like to post where I'm up to so that I can have a bit of leeway. I don't know. I've reread this and it looks okay to me, but feel free to point out anything that makes you cringe or is just completely wrong. Thanks for reading. Juls**


	4. Chapter 4

Memories came flooding back. David. Mary Margaret. Regina. Storybrooke. Ogres. The Enchanted Forest. Mulan. Aurora. Killian.

Emma's eyes snapped open and she stared at him. She remembered. She remembered. She wasn't raped. Emma let out a sob and she looked down at her baby.

"Swan," he said worriedly and she let out another. She would blame it on the leftover pregnancy hormones.

"Killian," she whimpered.

"Did you miss me?" he asked quietly with a smirk.

"We have to go. We have to go back to my apartment," she muttered, taking hold of the pram.

"Swan, what-"

"We have to go," she repeated.

They walked in silence, much to Emma's gratuity. Liam was Killian's. Liam. Liam. Killian's brother's name. How had she known? She supposed she hadn't until she'd given birth. And then she'd seen his eyes. Killian's eyes. And Liam. She had a son with Killian. With Captain Hook. She had a son with Captain Hook.

Emma took the lift up to the apartment with Liam and she bit back a grin when Killian regarded the contraption warily. She supposed there weren't lifts in the Enchanted Forest.

He didn't have his hook on. She supposed him walking around with a hook would have been a bit conspicuous. It must have been awful for him, to not have it on. It must feel unnatural.

She unlocked the door and let him in. She pushed the pram into the kitchen area and took Liam out, caressing his head when he whimpered. "Swan, what the he-"

"For months, I thought I'd been drugged and raped. I couldn't remember having sex with anybody. I guess Regina didn't think to give me a sex life. So, when I found out I was pregnant, well, I was confused to say the least, but now I'm not, because we have a son, Killian," she whispered and he stared at her.

"He's- he's mine?" he asked her, gaping. Emma nodded, tears in her eyes. Killian stared at the baby. "Emma," he whispered. Emma closed her eyes. What if he didn't want this? What if he wished he'd never come and got her? "Can I hold him?" he asked quietly and Emma nodded desperately.

She helped Killian hold him, making sure his head was secure, despite Killian's lack of hand. Emma would never bring it up, but she was sure she saw tears in his eyes. "What's his name?" he asked, never taking his eyes off his son.

Emma smiled. "Liam." Killian's head shot up and she shrugged with a smile.

"A good name," he said gruffly.

"Liam Henry Swan, but I think we could change that to Jones," she suggested. Killian nodded, staring back down at his son. He was a perfect mix of the both of them.

"Bloody hell, Emma, how did we do this? How did we make something so- so perfect?" he asked.

"Ey, watch your language around our son," she said softly.

"Sorry," he apologised with a smirk. "Don't worry, Liam, I'll corrupt you when she's not looking," he faux-whispered and Emma laughed, watching as Killian cooed over their son.

She couldn't believe she'd even been worried. He was such a great guy.

When Liam began to cry, Killian shot Emma a panicked look and she took their son from him, showing Killian how to find out what is wrong with their son. He looked disgusted when she sniffed Liam's bum and Emma rolled her eyes and started to show him how to change a nappy.

When he was clean again, Liam giggled and Emma called him a scoundrel. "My little pirate," she amended with a wink to Killian.

"So, my parents?" she asked, putting Liam back into Killian's arms to his satisfaction. Emma watched with a smile as Liam curled into his dad's chest.

"Oh, yeah, of course." Killian led Emma over to her sofa and sat back down comfortably with Liam. "In my bag, there are some letters from your parents to me over the past year. I stayed with them when we arrived in the Enchanted Forest and I helped them rebuild the kingdom. I talked to them both a lot about you. I left after I had an argument with Baelfire – Neal – and I went to find the Jolly. I went back to them after a few months when I found Belle shipwrecked. I stayed for a night, talked to your parents for a bit, especially your mother, and then I returned to my life of piracy.

"Your mother sent me letters throughout the year and she sent me one final one warning me about the curse. All I know about it is that they'll be in Storybrooke and it was cast by Zelena – otherwise known as the Wicked Witch of the West," he explained to her.

"Are you fuck-"

"Ey, ey, Swan, watch your language around our lad. I tell you what, Liam, a hypocrite your mother isn't she?"

"Shut up," she said, hitting his shoulder and grinning. "So I guess we're going home then?" she checked. Killian nodded, staring down at his son. "Do you think it would be okay if we stayed here for a few days?" she asked. "Just so you can properly get to know Liam."

"I think that would be perfect," he said. Emma bit her lip and then leaned across and kissed him softly on the lips. He smiled softly at her.

And, as if on cue, Liam began to cry again. "I tell you what, he doesn't half cry a lot, does he?" Killian said exasperatedly.

"It's because he's your son," she teased, poking him in the stomach. "Come on, my little scoundrel. Do you want feeding, hey?" she cooed and Killian smiled at her. "Okay, baby boy," she said, starting to unbutton her top. "Give him here," she said, but Killian was staring at her breasts. "Oi, perv, can I have my son please?"

Killian handed his son over to her and Emma positioned him against her breast. He began to suckle on it. "Guess he is my son," he said with a waggle of his brows. Emma shook her head with a smirk. Killian moved closer to her, observing his son suckling on her breasts.

"Emma," he started, after a few minutes. "I'm in love with you," he stated simply. Emma looked up like a deer in the headlights. "I know that you find this frightening and I don't imagine you to feel the same. I know that this is challenging for you. I just need you to see that I love you and I am so sorry that you had to do this alone. I wish I'd been here for the birth and as you learned how to raise an infant on your own. You must have been so afraid and I swear to you that you will never be alone again, you and Liam and Henry. I'm here and I'm never going to leave," he promised her.

Emma nodded, her eyes full of tears. "Thank you," she rasped. "Thank you," she repeated. "Killian, I'm not good at _this_. I usually don't realise things until the last minute, as evidenced," she said, gesturing to their son. Killian chuckled. "So, for now, I just need you here," she told him.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he promised her. Emma leaned across and kissed him and Killian smiled at her. "And it helps that I get to see your breasts as often as I'd like," he said with a leer and Emma laughed, rolling her eyes.

"As often as Liam would like," she corrected.

"I'm sure the lad and I can come to an arrangement," he assured her with a wink. Emma leaned her head against his shoulder and took the support he offered.

 **XXX**

Emma was looking over the letters Killian had given her. "My mother's pregnant?" she exclaimed. Killian was watching over their son sleep.

"Oh! Yeah," he admitted. "Did I forget to tell you that?"

"Yes," Emma said emphatically.

"Sorry," he apologised with a shrug. "She's not given birth yet, so don't worry. Well, I don't think she has, at least. I think she would have sent me some sort of birth announcement." Emma nodded, glad she had a few days to get her head around this before she went to see her parents.

The thought of seeing them did make her happy. She'd spent another year of her life thinking that she'd been abandoned and that her parents didn't love her, but she was wrong. The thought of seeing everybody in Storybrooke again excited her. She'd not exactly had many friends in New York, but she had loads in Storybrooke. The only person she was worried about seeing was Neal. She hadn't yet had the discussion with him that she didn't want to be with him and turning up with Killian's child wasn't going to make that conversation easy, but it had to be done.

Emma knew that she wanted to be with Killian. She could generally trust her last minute realisations, some more than others, but she knew that going to see Killian that night had not just been about feeling alone or scared. She'd needed him to know that it could have been. And now it could be, so why did that scare her so much? Why was she such a screw-up?

"Hey, what do you want to do for lunch? I'm starving," she asked, noticing that it was gone two o clock and she hadn't eaten. Killian came out of Emma's bedroom and closed the door. "I suppose you don't really know much about lunch in this 'realm' do you?" she said with a teasing grin.

"That I don't, love," he replied.

"Okay, then, I will introduce you to pizza," she said, taking out her phone and getting up the app. Killian was staring at her with a furrowed brow. She held back a smirk. "How long have you been curious as to what these are?"

Killian scowled. "Please, just explain."

Emma giggled wildly at his confusion as she began to show him what a phone was.

 **XXX**

Emma and Killian were sat, staring at the TV, surrounded by pizza boxes. Emma was still eating the remnants of the cold pizza. Killian had found the pizza to be 'satisfactory', but eating it cold was 'disgusting'. "So, he's in love with her, right?" Killian checked. Emma nodded.

"Yeah, and it's pretty obvious that she's in love with him too, but she's married with her kids and he's her boss so she can't really do anything about it," Emma explained.

"She could," Killian countered, "she's just choosing not to."

"I suppose, but you've got to consider how it would affect Grace and Zach. I mean, they're already freaking about their dad having slept with prostitutes. They don't need their mom telling them that she's leaving their dad," Emma said.

"But surely they'd expect it, you know, since he had slept with prostitutes," Killian said with a frown.

"Eh, I dunno. It makes for better viewing," Emma stated.

"So how many 'episodes' of this are there before they get together?" Killian asked.

"Well," Emma said, biting her lip.

"They don't get together do they? Oh _bloody hell_ , how do you watch this torture?"

"No, well, they get together in season 3, but they break up in the same season," Emma told him with a shrug.

Killian sighed, "so is there like one episode per season or something?" he asked and Emma furrowed her brow, shaking her head incredulously.

"No, of course not. That's just an episode."

"Okay, so how many episodes are there in a season?" Killian asked.

"It depends," Emma said. "There's usually like twenty or so in a season and there's one season a year."

"I can assure you, love, there are four seasons in a year," he corrected her and Emma burst out laughing, realising that she hadn't explained what a season was. Killian scowled at her. "What? Is this another difference in this freakish realm of yours? Only one season? Which one?"

Emma clutched a hand to her stomach. "Stop, Killian, stop," she choked out.

"What is so funny, Swan?" he demanded to know.

"A season is a run of twenty episodes or so, but a season is also like summer or winter," Emma explained after a few more moments of laughing at Killian.

"Oh. So why in the name of the gods is it also called a season?" he asked, irritated.

"I don't know, Killian," she said, attempting not to giggle. He pouted next to her and her laughs bubbled out of her at the sight of Captain Hook, the scourge of the seas, pouting.

"How are you still eating that?" Killian asked her, narrowing his eyes incredulously at Emma taking yet another piece of the cold pizza.

"It's good," Emma defended. Killian snorted.

"I severely doubt that," he said patronisingly. Emma slapped him in the stomach and he grunted.

"This is my apartment and I will eat whatever I should want," she informed him.

"Oh, I deeply apologise, madam," he said back in the same patronising tone of voice. Emma rolled her eyes and settled back against him. Killian smiled and leaned his head against hers.

They continued to watch the Netflix show for hours, only interrupted when Liam woke up to join them after a two-hour nap. He snuggled in Killian's arms and Emma snuggled up to both of them. It wasn't until four o' clock that Henry joined them in the apartment and Emma jolted upwards. "Crap," she muttered. "I have to explain this to Henry. Won't be a moment," she said, kissing his cheek, a move that shocked both her and Killian. Her eyes widened and she backed away. Killian gave her a reassuring smile.

"Hey, Henry!" Emma said, guiding him to the dining room table. "Can you sit down for a minute?"

"Yes," he said warily. "What's going on, Mom?" he asked her.

Emma took a seat opposite Henry, in their usual breakfast seats. She took her son's hands in hers. "Henry, what would you say about moving?" she asked.

 **XXX**

Henry stared at his mom like she was crazy. She _was_ crazy. "Moving? Why would we move? All of my friends are here. We have a great apartment and I love my school. Mom, what is going on?" Henry asked her incredulously.

"Henry, erm, Liam's dad is here," Emma stated simply. Henry's stomach dropped. He'd asked his mom who Liam's dad was a few months into her pregnancy and she'd told him that it wasn't somebody that she ever wanted to have anything to do with again and left it at that.

"So, we're running away?" Henry checked. He could leave, if that was what it meant to keep his mom and his brother safe.

"No," Emma said, shaking her head. "I know I told you months ago that I didn't want anything to do with Liam's dad, but I was wrong. Liam's dad, Killian, is a really good guy. He came here the other day and I reacted a bit harshly. He was the man at the door the other morning and I sent him packing, but he came back and, eventually, I listened to him. He's found my parents, Henry," Emma said.

"What?"

"He's found where my parents are living and I want to go and be with them. I want to know my parents and I want you to know your grandparents, your family."

"And we'd live there?" Henry checked. Emma nodded. "And would he live with us? Liam's dad?"

"I- I don't know. Maybe we'd give it a trial run? But I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with, Henry," Emma assured him and Henry nodded slowly.

"Could we go and visit there? And then we can make up our minds?" he said, feeling that his mom was being a bit impulsive. What if his grandparents didn't want to see them? They'd given her up, after all.

Emma nodded. "Of course," she said, squeezing his hands. "If you don't like it, then I guess we'll come back here," she told him and Henry nodded. "Do you want to meet Killian?"

Henry froze. Did he want to meet his brother's dad? Yeah, he guessed he did. He needed to know why the hell he hadn't been around for his mom being pregnant and the baby's birth and the first few months of Liam's life. Henry steeled himself and stood up from the table, walking around the wall to where Killian was sat, watching his mom's favourite show and cradling his baby brother.

"So you're Killian?" Henry asked and Killian turned around sharply. The elder man stood and wandered around the couch, so that he was stood in front of Henry. Henry put his hand out to him and Killian grimaced. Henry furrowed his brow, checking his hand to see if it was dirty.

"I'm afraid I can't shake your hand, lad," Killian admitted and Henry stepped back incredulously. He was holding his brother but he had another- Killian waved a stump at Henry and Henry's eyes widened.

"Oh! I'm sorry," Henry stammered. "I'm so sorry," he continued.

Killian shook his head. "You weren't to know. It was a long time ago. If I wasn't holding your brother, I would have loved to have shaken your hand, Henry," he told him. And Henry thought he might be a good guy.

But he couldn't let the abandonment go. Henry shook himself. "So, why now?" he started. "Why come back now instead of when you should have, when my mom found out she was pregnant?" Henry asked angrily and Killian swallowed obviously. Henry glared.

"Henry!" his mom admonished, coming around to stand next to Killian, who was stood in the strangest clothes Henry had ever seen outside of a theme park. "Henry, Killian didn't know I was pregnant until today. He didn't know he had a son and, more than that, he didn't know where I was. I knew Killian in Boston and I didn't tell him we were moving here. It's my fault, not Killian's," she admitted. Henry weighed that up. If what his mom said was true, then Killian was just the innocent party in all of this and it was his mom's mistake.

"But why didn't you contact him?" Henry argued, unwilling to let it go.

Emma shook her head with a shrug. "I don't know. Henry, Killian didn't abandon me. He had no choice," Emma emphasised.

"You mean, unlike my dad who abandoned me?" Henry asked bitterly. His mom winced and Killian grimaced next to her.

"No, kid. Your dad abandoned me. He didn't know you existed," his mom reminded him calmly. He'd been told this a million times and he knew it was true. But was his dad abandoning his mom better than him abandoning Henry? Henry thought it was worse.

Henry gave it up. He was wrong. He turned to Killian. "So you're my mom's boyfriend then?" he checked.

His mom's eyes widened and she looked at Killian, her face red. "No, no, we're just- We're just-" she stammered. Henry nodded, looking between them curiously.

"Okay, you two can figure that out while I get myself a drink," Henry said, rolling his eyes.

 **XXX**

"Boyfriend?" Killian whispered in Emma's ear.

"Partner," Emma replied cautiously. Killian nodded, a bit stiffly. "I- We don't really know what we are, do we?" she tried to convince herself and him. "I mean-"

"Swan, when I told you that I would win your heart, I meant every word and nothing has changed. If anything, I mean it even more so. I am completely, utterly, heart-wrenchingly in love with you, Swan, Emma, and I will spend every day for the rest of my life trying to prove that to you and trying to be worthy of your love in return," Killian told her passionately.

Emma stared at him, her lips slightly parted and eyes wide. "Killian," she murmured.

"Let me prove it to you, Emma. Let me love you," he begged and Emma let out a sob. Her pregnancy had played around with her hormones, she'd say. Or maybe it was breastfeeding still playing with them. Killian used his stumped arm to pull her into him. He pressed kisses to the top of her head, all the while cradling his son to him.

"Don't give up on me," Emma whispered into his chest. "Be patient, Killian, and please don't give up on me," she pleaded.

"Never," he assured her. "Never," he repeated quietly.

 **Yeah, I know, look at this two chapters in as many days. Wow. But I just finished chapter five, so I thought I'd give you chapter four. Also, I had such positive feedback from my last chapter so I was happy, ahah. Seriously, though, one review from Amber611, literally made my day yesterday. You guys really make me happy. Hopefully, I'll get the next chapter up soon. Tell me if there's anything you want to see, or any reactions to the baby that you're desperate for because I'm planning their arrival in Storybrooke now. Love you all lots, Juls**


	5. Chapter 5

"Where did you stay last night?" Emma asked Killian as she made up the couch as a bed for him.

Killian shrugged. "A hotel of some sorts."

Emma furrowed her brow incredulously. "Do you have money?"

"I found an establishment that trades my doubloons for this realm's money," he informed her and Emma nodded understandingly, "so I gave them one of my doubloons and they gave me some paper," he said derisively.

Emma snorted unladylikely and Killian observed her amusedly. "That's what we use in this world," she told him, placing a pillow at the end of the sofa. Killian rolled his eyes. "It's much easier than carrying around gold coins and silver coins and what not, although we have some of those too. How much did they give you?" Emma asked curiously.

Killian shrugged and took the money out of the inside of his coat. It was a stack of money and Emma's jaw dropped. "What is it, Swan?" he asked, leafing through the money. "It can't be worth much. It's just paper."

"Fucking hell," she commented and Killian chuckled. "Hook, how many of these doubloons have you got? You could be a millionaire!"

Killian smirked. "Interested now are you?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Good night, Hook."

Killian's face softened and he smiled. "Good night, Swan."

Emma took three steps away and then turned around, taking the three steps back. Killian's brow furrowed. Emma lifted her neck slightly and kissed him softly, lingeringly. "Good night, Killian," she whispered when she pulled away.

"Good night, Emma."

 **XXX**

Emma looked at herself in the mirror the next morning as she dressed. Liam was in the kitchen with Killian and Henry had gone to school. She looked distastefully at the fat that remained from her pregnancy and at her stretch marks. Her body was different from the first time she'd slept with Killian and he must have noticed. What if he didn't find her desirable anymore? He must have had the most beautiful women in all the realms. He'd probably slept with Tinkerbell and the equivalents of models in the Enchanted Forest. He was the hottest man she had ever seen and he had all the choice in the world, so why would he want her?

Emma shook herself and pulled out a dress from her wardrobe, holding it against her body. It had been her favourite dress before she'd been pregnant, not that she was really an avid dress wearer, but maybe… Emma grinned and pulled the dress over her head, pulling it down over the big hips. She scowled as her lack of a flat stomach became apparent. Emma felt like crying, shoving the dress back into the bottom of her wardrobe.

"Swan?" Killian said, knocking on her door. "You alright?"

Emma shook herself. "Yeah, just, erm, deciding on what to wear," she said, realising she sounded vain as fuck. Was she really doing this over a man? Emma shook her head at herself in the mirror and grabbed out some leggings and a long baggy jumper that she'd bought to fit over her pregnancy bump in the last month of pregnancy. It covered her big arse and for that she was pleased. Searching for her hairbrush, Emma caught sight of herself in the mirror and cringed.

When had she become so body-conscious? Was it about Killian? Silly question. Of course it was. Emma rolled her eyes at herself. This wasn't who she was.

She treaded into the main area of the apartment and found her hair brush on the coffee table. She saw Killian in the kitchen, cradling Liam in his handless arm, and pouring cereal into a bowl with his good arm. Emma brushed her hair casually as she watched him murmur to Liam. It was only a few minutes before he turned around and found her stood there.

"You not joining us, love? Bad form that," he teased. Emma smiled and approached him, taking their son out of his arms.

"Good morning, Liam," she cooed, snuggling him close and breathing in his baby smell. "Was Daddy looking after you?" Liam gargled. "Yes, he was," she continued in the baby voice that had always annoyed her before she'd had Liam. She turned to Killian and found him looking shell-shocked.

"You're alright with him calling me dad?" he asked when she looked at him inquisitively.

"Of course, Killian. You're his dad. I want him to grow up knowing exactly who his parents are," Emma said firmly. Killian nodded, probably catching her afterthought of _not like I did_. He pressed a kiss to her temple and Emma found herself leaning into him, rather than pulling away. Killian balanced his cereal on his arm and began to walk towards the dining table. Emma giggled. "Milk?" she suggested.

Killian set down his cereal, glared at her and grabbed the milk carton of her, grateful that she had already taken the lid off.

 **XXX**

"I have to nip out to get the business ready for selling. I'm pretty sure I know a few people who'd like to buy it. I need to get some stuff from the office as well and set that up to be sold," Emma said as she dressed Liam. "I'll have to take this little man," she said, tickling her son's stomach and delighting in his giggles, "so do you wanna come with?" she asked with a smile to him.

"A day with you, Swan? How can I say no?" he asked her with a wink. Emma rolled her eyes fondly.

They set off not long later, Emma pushing Liam in the pram. She'd found herself wondering if Killian would even be able to push the pram without his hook and she didn't want to ask, so she'd just pushed the pram herself. They walked to Emma's office. It was quite a walk, but Emma wanted to teach Killian about this world. She pointed out things that might confuse him and, when there were moments that he understood everything, he regaled her with stories of his past year. She found herself laughing at most of them. He told her of piracy and illegality and mistakes and crew and life as a swashbuckler, a word that never failed to make her laugh.

When they reached the office, the two of them boxed up the paperwork, with Liam interrupting them every so often. Emma thought that she'd feel something when she'd packed everything into boxes and was saying goodbye, but all she felt was excitement and nerves. She wasn't sad when she was leaving. She wasn't going to miss this little office, where she was alone. She had a better life waiting for her. She just needed Henry to get his memories back.

Killian paid for their lunch on the way back to the apartment, at McDonalds. They each had a Big Mac and Emma laughed as Killian declared that they should have McDonalds in Storybrooke. Then they wandered back to the apartment. Emma said that she'd drive back to the apartment to get all the paperwork and, then, she and Killian began to put some things from the apartment away into the car. They weren't leaving for two days, but Emma knew that, once it was done, it was done.

Emma organised the movers and paid for them and she ordered loads of cardboard boxes for them to start boxing things up. She knew that Henry was going to be furious. They'd said they would just try it out, but Emma knew that, when they reached Storybrooke, Henry was going to want to stay.

So, they packed. Henry even helped, albeit reluctantly, when he got home. Killian wasn't much help, but Emma could only be so exasperated when he stood cooing with their son, speaking in that stupid accent through those stupid pouty lips. She found herself staring at him far too often. Worse, he found her staring at him far too often. He'd smirk at her and wink and Emma would scowl, fighting her smile. Henry was scoffing every time, but Emma would just ruffle his hair and laugh. She knew that he secretly liked Killian and she knew that he definitely would when he had his memories back.

For the next few days, Emma and Killian spent time with their son, and with Henry. They watched Netflix and ate rubbishy food in between the formalities of moving. Emma was no closer to figuring out her feelings towards Killian. Well, she was fully aware that there was something there. There was a lot of something there. She knew that she liked him. She knew that she liked him more than she liked Neal, more than she liked other guys. She knew that her heart sped up when she saw him and she knew that he made her blush and he gave her butterflies. Butterflies. Emma almost scoffed at the thought but that was the word for it. Being around him gave her butterflies and she felt hot sometimes and sometimes she would watch him, just holding Liam or talking to him, and her heart would pang and she would feel it all over her body, like warmth, like happiness, but more. Was that love? Was this how she'd felt when she was with Neal? Or was it more? Could the same word even be used? She'd been 17. She was almost double that now. And she was so broken. But when she was with Killian, it was like he was the glue that stuck her all back together. Emma looked down at the baby in her arms. She blamed him for this mushy shit. She was sure she'd never been emotional or sentimental until Liam had been born.

On the night before they were due to leave for Storybrooke, Emma put Liam into his cot and turned on the night light next to his bed. She looked around the room and closed the door lightly behind her. She could hear Henry in his room on his xbox, shouting at his friends and the like. Killian sent a smile at her from the sofa. Emma retrieved some whiskey glasses from a box in the corner of the room and laughed when he took a bottle of rum from his coat.

She sat herself down next to him, feeling the sofa relax beneath her. It was just gone eight when Killian poured some rum into each of their glasses. She took a sip from hers and suggested that they watch a film. Killian agreed readily, having experienced films quite frequently over the past few days. They put on a comedy and Emma spent most of the film laughing, not at the film, but at Killian's confusion with it. Henry went to sleep at Emma's instruction at half past nine.

They put on a film of Killian's choice next and Emma was horrified that it was, this time, a romantic comedy. Even so, throughout the film, she felt herself drawing closer to him, until he had his arm wrapped around her and her head was leaning against his chest. She knew that someone who was less emotionally broken would call what they had a relationship and, if she was honest, Emma wished she could.

As the film's credits rolled, it was nearing twelve o'clock. They had been interrupted in the middle of the film by a baby boy wanting some milk, but he seemed to be quite settled now. The soft credit music played behind them. "It's probably time for sleep, hm?" Killian suggested tentatively. "I mean, we're to be up with the lark, so-"

Emma cut him off with her lips. She pressed them to him softly, barely a kiss.

"Swan," he whispered.

"Don't," she begged softly. He nodded and she kissed him again, moving so that her arms entangled around his neck. His fingers burned through her clothes as he placed them on her waist. She couldn't feel his other arm around her and she pulled away, opening her eyes. His other arm sat on his lap and Emma smiled nervously, taking his stump and putting it on the other side of her waist. He looked at her with something akin to awe and kissed her again.

They spent hours, or maybe minutes, or maybe years, sat on the sofa kissing until Emma stood up and offered him her hand, leading him to her bedroom and closing the door behind them.

 _A/N: Hey guys! It's been a long time since I've updated anything lol. I apologise. I've been writing stuff. I'm nine chapters into a rewrite of my Harry/Ginny running away fic at the moment and that's my main thing, but I'm also working on this, a classic Hook kidnaps Emma (along with her brothers and fiancée) fic and another Harry/Ginny fic, but a Harry Never Went to Hogwarts fic, where Ginny joins him at the auror office and also happens to live in the same building. It's exams now at uni, so it's unlikely I'll have much up until June. However, the whole of June I'm just working and writing without interruption, so hopefully, depending on my muse, I'll write more then. Hope you enjoy this little chapter. Lots of love xx_


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